Bishop's fireside?..More like a bully's playhouse...

I find it funny how so many of the LDS Church Leaders will raise awareness about bullying...but in such a vague way. Except for Dieter F. Uchdorf. But seriously. I just need to rant.

So I went to this Bishop's fireside today. (In simpler terms, for my non-Mormon blog-readers that basically means that we go to our pastor's house and we do some games and learn more about God and his Word) and was just astonished and offended on the profanity that went on. No, it wasn't necessarily crud language...but wait...it actually was. Just not the "cuss word" language. More like the language bullies speak; ignorance.

Many people wonder what kind of man I will marry when I grow up. Quick side note.

1) I am gay, so that probably won't happen
2) If I wasn't, it would most likely not be an LDS man, unless by some miracle I find one that isn't like the ones I've seen in this fireside. (But there are definitely good Mormon men in my ward and local church...don't get me wrong.)

And another quick side note before I explain what happened at the fireside.

I remember one day, my sister brought one of her friends to a church youth activity. A nice young man who seemed to forget her name because my sister's friend had been to some activities before, asked her what her name was. One of the other young men in my church, walked by with a sneering expression and said, "loser".
To some that may seem playfully harmless, (Not to me), but to that non-member friend of my sister...she was completely and utterly hurt. She hasn't really come back often due to the fact that she thinks most, not all, but most of the men there are rude.

Hmmmmm. I wonder why.

So, skip back to the fireside that took place today. We played a game and then got some free time to talk to the other youth. Here are just some of things that the youth were saying about others, in particularly what the young men were saying.

"Ha. Look at him. He looks like a serial killer. Don't let him near us."

"Ew. There is a gay reference in the movie Frozen? That shouldn't be for children's eyes."

"MOVE, WOMAN."

"Shut up. Nobody cares." (A young man said this repeatedly to me whenever I would voice my opinion...and he was the same one who called my sister's friend a loser...)

"Look, she's so ugly"...

Now don't get me twisted. There are a few, rare good men in our youth program. But I just don't think that's okay.

And it seemed that I was the only one noticing these things and taking some action. Some of them of coarse accused me of being over-sensitive. But am I really? The suicide rates are rising. The eating disorder rates are rising. And so are the bullying.
So, it looks like everyone else is de-sensitizing. Trying to pretend that "it" isn't there. "it" being the sly bullying that goes on in this world today. Even in the walls of our churches.

This, of coarse, is not new. Jesus went through this. He was ridiculed for being who He was...and for defending and loving ones that were known to be "unpopular".

Now, let me just say this. I don't swear. But when it comes to this, it's something I feel strongly about and this subject...I would die for.

I swear, if I had to choose between living a life full of ignoring the real issues of the day like bullying and never being able to defend others...and live a life of complete silence against them...I would rather die.

I am disgusted at the way some youth act like. We need to change this. There has been too many suicides. Too many attempts. Too many lives taken...for such a cause that can be improved.

I am planning definitely to speak to my ward members about this issue. And it isn't just the young men. It's all the youth, including the young women. The ones who snicker at the victimizing comments are just as worse as the one who said those awful words.

And the leaders need to do something about it too. It can't just be me. Or another person...who happens to be a youth as well. LDS leaders...if you see bullying, even a hint, CONFRONT THE PROBLEM. I don't know how much I can stress this enough. I've seen countless of look-aways from the youth leaders that I've become immune to it so much that it feels like I am obligated to take their place and keep things in order. Of coarse, I do not mind this. I love breaking down a bullying situation. But it can't just be one person. It has to be us ALL.

I thought this was the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints.
It is I guess.
Just without the Jesus Christ.

We need to change that.

And we can. It's pretty simple.
And of coarse again, there will be hate for this.
There will always be someone ridiculing someone else because they are taking off the stigma of unpopular taboos.

It's funny too...that we talk so much about how we must be kind. Yet it seems like some of the meanest people come from my own church. I don't know.

It just doesn't feel right.

So help me change this. It doesn't have to be this way. And if you're bully, you can change too. Actually, it was a huge probability that the bully is the way he/she is because they were bullied as well.

Sure, we may not be able to stop all hate...but at least we can try.

And to help motivate you...here's a little video about Ellen Page (ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE EVER) talk in the Human Rights Campaign talk about the work and service of defending others at the TIME TO THRIVE conference. (You may have watched this video before...I just love it so much...)

P.S. Sorry for all the parenthesis quotations.

Be kind to one another.

My thoughts on Feminism

Before or after you read my blog, make sure to listen to "Reflection" by Christina Aguilera video that I posted at the top. It will bring this blog post to it's full circle.

I've always loved Mulan. She was and still is my favorite Disney princess (with the exception of Elsa from "Frozen").

What I always admired of Mulan though, was her strength and struggles. She obviously wasn't meant to "be the perfect bride, or a perfect daughter". Regardless of sexuality I think, especially as women (particularly Mormon women), we are faced with so much confusion. We are told by some that being a Mother is what we were born to do. But I've come face to face with many women in the church that do not have the desire to become a Mother at all. And they get scrutinized for it. And then we are told by others that it is not your first priority to be a Mother but...you should definitely strive to marry in the temple. But once again, we must recognize the women who do not have the opportunity or just to do not want to get married in the first place. Does that make them any less allegeable to enter into the Kingdom of God? If so, why? Because they happen to not be the cookie-cutter women from the 1950's?

For example, I was really hurt by one of the former Young Women President's statement in a general conference. She may of meant no harm, but I feel that some Leaders in the Church add their biases a little too much than necessary.


"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity"

Who are...the women of the world? Seriously. So all of a sudden women who are tough are women of the world? What kind of message are you sending for the young women of the younger generation. "Be gentle, never be tough or firm...(add a sexist comment) and don't forget to submit yourselves to your husband". Let's cut the bull. Just because someone is famous or has fortune, doesn't make them any less than the women in church. Just because some women may come off as tough, does make them "worldly" women. And hey you, yeah you! If you're a woman who's struggling with your identity because you are constantly told not to be brave and tough...do what your gut tells you! Personally for me, I can't be tender. It just doesn't work for me. Why try to be something your not?

I, for one, am known to be pretty tough. You can just ask my sister. But my sister has told me that if I wasn't tough and firm in my convictions, she would never have the courage to stand for what SHE believes in. Funny. My sister never has ever complimented me on my "tenderness". She actually resents it when I'm too soft...she'll tell me "Come on, Erin. Be brave." BRAVE can be tough or tender. Men can be tough and tender. Children can too. The point is this; Don't define how women should be or act. Define how EVERYONE should act, and make sure to remember that all people aren't the same.

Oh and something else; Stop trying to force all the women in the Church to be nurturers and "tender". We all need understand that we are growing in a world that isn't like it used to be. And sure, we shouldn't conform to the ways of the world. But does that mean we have to give up our personal convictions and personality traits for "tenderness". Um, no. I don't think so.

And one last thing; there are such things as feminists who happen to be Mormon. And for all you housewives extremists, crying out "We hate feminists"....just remember that without them....you wouldn't have the opportunity to vote or even voice your opinion. So, think before you speak.

Now don't get me wrong, if you want to be a stay at home mother, go for it. But don't think your whole life is centered around motherhood.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is yes; I am a feminist. But what woman isn't? I believe feminism is about embracing your womanhood, no matter who you may be or act like. Whether you like dressing up or sporting it out or both...WHO CARES. Just be you. God's got your back.

TO conclude this blogpost, I am assuming you already have watched Mulan.

She is a tough cookie, to say the least. And she was strong as iron. And she wasn't your typical princess either. She went against the norm. Now would you consider her a woman of the world? No. I would consider her a person of STRENGTH and DIGNITY. No matter what religious background you are...You will always be a woman of God. And don't you think any less. Regardless if you're a softie or a tough cookie, you are worthy in God's eyes.

Now this feminist is out. Peace and love. And don't forget to be kind to one another.

Refreshed Introduction of blog, a small rant and a small but brave Canadian...

I have a confession to make *drumroll effect*...I am not perfect. And I am not at all the Mormon you would ever dream of meeting. But I decided, for my new blog readers, that I would refresh who I am and what I believe in. And then...I will go on  tiny rant. (I mean duh, what is my blog without a rant...). And some big news. Okay. Here we go.

I am first and foremost Erin Clegg. I am almost seventeen. And yes, I am a blogger. I love to write and sing. If you combine those two wonderful things, you will see that I am a songwriter as well. And I am Mormon. And I love it! But I am definitely not your...hmmm...typical Mormon. I am gay...(I think all of us are just a little bit gay anyway...) and I ain't afraid to say it. What I mean by  gay though isn't that I wouldn't see myself with a guy. I just think love knows no gender. This does not seem like a big deal to me. I never realized how profound me coming out would truly be...until I came out. It was kind of like those moments you seem to never forget. (Well, another duh...coming out is pretty huge. It shouldn't be, but it is).

I am also a huge activist. Let me just list all the things I advocate for...
I advocate for...
Marriage Equality
Gender Equality
Animal Rights
Human Rights
Environmental Rights
Immigrant Rights

I am also advocating organizations like...

Unicef
NOH8
It Gets Better
Love is Louder
The Gay Christian Network

So...I know that is a lot to take in. And some of you already may know those things about me. But I feel if you never say what you feel and you never show who you are...your life is just a joke. I don't want to spend my life silent to please others. I don't care if I will get hate for it. I rather get hate for something I believe in, then praise for something I don't.
And so if you feel strongly opposing to any of these things or organizations I listed, I suggest you leave my blog because I will not shut up about it. At all.

Many people ask me if I will regret all my "attention seeking" and "disapproving" blog, speeches  and opinions. My response is...you must not know about me. I don't do regrets. Everything I say I think is worth saying. It may be wrong and it may be right. But if we only did what seemed right in most other's eyes but wrong in our own...how then can we be truly happy? I find myself the happiest when I stand up for what I believe in and do things to help others and in service to others. I don't feel happy lying to myself of who I am and what I want in my life. So...I guess what I am trying to say is even if I marry a guy and or if I marry a girl, I will still be happy. Even if I have kids or if I don't have kids, I still be happy. Even if I am a stay at home wife or mother or both...I will still be happy. Even if I am not any of those things but have a steady career and all my future cats...I will still  be happy. Why? Because I won't be forcing anything. I won't be faking. And right now, I am happy. And it's all because I came to peace with myself and who I am. And I pray that if you don't feel that way yet...that you will get off your butt and look yourself in the mirror and say "Damn, I am beautiful. I am a beautiful human being and spirit. God made me the way I am, and thank goodness He did. I don't need someone to ok all my choices because I am confident in my intentions. And I will always stay strong."

To be honest, you never even needed me to tell you that. But I did, so...you're welcome. That was sort of the rant. It wasn't so much as an angry rant but something I just needed to get off my chest.

And now for the big surprise. Starting with this blog, I will be doing vlogs (a short video blog) that will only be posted on here...and youtube. So, here ya'll go. The topic is...Inspirational Person of the Day. Check out the vlog below to see who it is!

HINT HINT --- The tiny but brave Canadian is Ellen Page...If you didn't get it already.

xo Be kind to one another xo

- Erin

God loves Uganda...Have you heard the "good" news?

I have been spiritually touched.
And when you're spiritually touched, that light...cannot be burned out.

Why must hate reign this earth?
Why must we cause inequality and hate to be our so called righteousness to God?
Is this really what God would want?

Do you really think that if God were to judge your life right now...He would be proud of you for going to that "Stand for Family and Marriage" parade...and persecuting the LGBT community while you're at it.
Or for proclaiming that all gay men and women were bound to go to Hell.
That who they are is an evil life-style...though some wish they weren't even alive to even experience LIFE.
It does not feel right...to hate who I am.
To hate anyone...because of their race, background, ethnicity or sexual orientation.
And you say it's because it's a sin...
But what really is this "sin" you place upon the hearts of the LGBT community?
Is it because many choose to have sexual relationships without the bondage of marriage, so you're disgusted.
Well, let me remind you...many do not have marriage privileges so they think "Oh what the heck".

And if you're so worried about sex before marriage...why aren't you raising awareness about teenage pregnancies and how to avoid such a thing? Oh, right. Because you're to caught up on HATE.

But did you know that many religious gay women and men choose to be celibate because of personal reasons?
Did you know some end up marrying the opposite sex, because yes...bisexuality is REAL. And it is not a confusion disorder.
Did you know some have stayed celibate until marriage? And have families now?
No.
You ignore that there are chaste gay men and women.
You ignore the fact that they are normal human beings, who just want equality.
No.
You want religious freedom.
But see, legalizing gay marriage will not tell your congregations or churches to permit marriage in their standards...
Legalizing gay marriage will only allow the same people who pay their taxes and are rightful citizens to have the same rights under the law.
And you say "God's law is higher than man".
That's true.
But how do you know for sure what God's law is concerning homosexuality?
Guess what?
You don't.
All you have is the story about the people of Sodomy.
But you must remember, they were evil people because they gang raped others.
Rape in general will always be evil.
But did it say, specifically, that homosexuality was a sin?
No. Never.
And when one scripture in Leviticus will not cut it either.
Because if homosexuality is such a big deal...why didn't Jesus ever mention it?
That's right...He didn't.
Because you know what I think?
I think God is testing us. To see if we will really accept others for who they are. And see...it all comes back to love.
So before you go off, calling me a gay radical...remember this;
I only say these things because I have a message.
A message of acceptance.
Of love.
Of equality.
And is that really so bad?
Nelson Mandela strived for equality.
Martin Luther King did as well.
And let's not forget about Susan B. Anthony.
And many called them equality radicals.
Just recently, the Dalai Lama even opened up about how He feels like gay marriage is "ok".
And even the Pope has made it clear that we must love one another and that He thinks being gay is "ok".
See, the LGBT community and I aren't asking you to change your beliefs. We're asking for equality and acceptance. That is all.
And in the end, don't we all want to be accepted?

That's why I stand for my LGBT men and women in Uganda, who have suffered much affliction and persecution. After watching this trailer, I want you to ask yourself...is this what God wants? Is this what God loves? And for my LGBT community across the world who are suffering, one day...all your burdens will be lifted. I am here for you. Stay strong.

Demi Lovato's Neon Lights Tour Overview

SO, just recently I got the awesome opportunity to see the wonderful Demi Lovato, live at concert this past Sunday. It was truly amazing and even enlightening. And I loved that day in general. Going to church and getting good vibes then going to the enlightening concert I've ever been to...- it truly was beautiful.

It was funny because my sister and I joked "What better way to keep the Sabbath day holy, by going to the most holiest, cleanest concert there is in mainstream music...- Miss Demi Lovato's concert.
It's true though. It seems as if profanity and vulgarity use, especially on women, have been exploited in today's music industry. Demi though, seems to break that stigma effortlessly. Her modesty, not only externally but inwardly, shined brilliantly. Her vocals and modulations were on key both in literal terms and emotionally. And even her opening acts burst staccatos of feminism and inner-strength. With Fifth Harmony singing "Miss Movin' On" and Little Mix opening with "Salute", you could tell that Demi had a theme for her Neon Lights Tour. Complete and utter feminism. But of coarse, who could forget the lovesick songs that made us all cry. Those too though, had a apparent glow to them. Demi stood confident and her independence illuminated the whole room. The energy there was so positive. It was almost tangible.

It was also so heartwarming to see Demi talk about real, social issues in the world. She wasn't holding anything back. I recall her saying "Let us pray for Venezuela right now." And she went on a speech about what was happening there right now and how we would be singing for them tonight. And then she sang "Warrior" and towards the end she sang "Now they are warriors, they have thicker skin, they are warriors and you can never hurt them again..." It was really touching, to see a Hollywood figure stand out by just recognizing the real problems in the world, and not shunning them away under the rug.

She also, of coarse, rose awareness about mental illnesses and how to break the stigma off of eating disorders, self-harm and depression. Now that hit the core for me personally because I always saw her tweeting and facebook-ing about such issues...but to see her actually speak concerning these things, live in person, it was really empathizing. I really could feel this connection with her. I've always been a Lovatic (A hard-core fan of Demi)...but to actually witness it in real life...it was just spectacular.

My mom seemed to enjoy it as well. She told me after we got home that Demi was the best role model she's ever witnessed for teenagers. And those hating on the hair, can just step back because it's flawless. I agree.

My sister was going crazy and she said she loved it so much, she'd do it again. AGREED.

I'm so glad I could experience this with my family and one of my truest friends. It was truly a blessing, and though it was raining outside, the atmosphere inside the stadium was warm. Thank you, Demi! STAY STRONG. xo.