The healing

                     So recently, I've lost a really good friend of mine. It was just a small argument  not even an argument  A disagreement. And then, BAM. She walked out of life.


                      My response to this was complete, utter devastation. To be perfectly honest, I do not have that many friends. And the friends that I do have, don't have any classes with me. Now I know I should reach out and try to make new ones, but it's so difficult. Before, I was so used to my little group of friends. I thought I could trust them. I thought them as my family. Then they left. Effortlessly. Like it didn't hurt them or feel the slightest bit of remorse. It was heart-breaking.

                      Now this friend of mine that left me, was my best friend. I thought of her as a sister. Sure we had our usual disagreements and literally only TWO major fights in the space of our two year friendship. But I think it's normal for friends to fight once and a while. It makes you grow closer in a sense. Or at least I thought.

                     In result of this separation of friendship, I cried and mourned for several days. I know, pathetic. It's just that she was my best friend. When I had no one to talk to, I'd tweet or text her or just talk to her. I told her all my secrets. She was and I suppose still is a very trust worthy friend. She didn't expose any of mistakes that I admitted to. She was always kept my secret, A SECRET. That kind of friendship is so hard to find. I still think of her as a friend. Best friend, actually. The problem is, she thinks of as nothing.

                     So in my time of affliction I went to the Savior. I remember when I would cry myself to sleep because I was so humiliated to wake up for school the next morning and face her. While I was weeping, it felt like the presence of the Savior swept in my room. He came to me and whispered words of comfort. He told me that I must forgive myself. And that when people of this world fail to always be there for you, He would. He showed me that He loved me so much, He atoned for my sins. He died on the cross. For me. The presence of my Savior was so strong that I fell asleep with it. It was one of those bittersweet nights.

                    The Lord's love amazes me. His love never fails. His mercy endures forever. I know I still make mistakes but His sacrifice gave me repentance. My Father in heaven love amazes as well. He gave his only begotten Son for me. He loves me sooooo much. When I cried those nights away, Heavenly Father didn't try to make me smile, He wept with me and comforted me. He gave me His son, so we could mourn and empathize together. As we all know, Jesus KNOWS how we feel. Literally.


                   So even though I may of lost a friend, I still have my bestest friends on my side. Not to mention my wonderful family as well!

Called to Serve

                         Let's all be honest, Young Women. When President Monson announced the new age for Missionary work we pretty much we're ethier overwhelmed with excitement or confusion. Excited to serve our Lord quicker then we'd expected! Confused because you had plans at 19 and now you feel like you're obligated to do so. Let me shine some light on the situation.


                         If you are like me, you are both. Excited and confused. I was planning to become this big christian artist who was LDS, and shined her light unto the world through song and praise. Then, BAM! President Monson announcement made me rethink my whole plan in life. I realize that I am only 15 and I don't need to stress myself out too much. But just thinking that in 3 and a half years I could be going on a mission boggles my mind. Honestly though, I think the only thing we need to do is pray. Ask the Lord to reveal what He desires us to do. Don't base your decision on your own instincts. Prayer and studying the scriptures our essential to recieve revelation from our Heavenly Father.


                        All I know is I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the true church and that Jesus Christ is our beloved Savior that came down to redeem us and sacrificed His life for us. I know that I am unworthy but with the help of the Savior I can become better and improve, day by day. I know that I wasn't a mistake. I know Heavenly Father has put me on this earth in THIS time for a reason. I know Joseph Smith was true prophet, I really do. But most of all, I know my Heavenly Father loves me. I know He only wants the best of me. I know I am impatient, moody and at times just plain out unworthy to partake of His presence. But The Lord won't relent until He has ALL OF US. We must surrender ourselves to Him, so He can use us but also so He can love us and share His bountiful blessings.



                        What I don't know is if I'm going on a mission, but no matter what, I will ask of God. He will be the decider, not me. I suggest you do the same. Ask the Lord. Maybe He has different plans for you! And that's okay! God knows your weaknesses and knows your strengths! He knows what you're capable of and knows what you can improve on! Stand tall and firm in the faith but learn to lean on Him. And as you lean, He leans and you will be as one with the Father, through Jesus Christ! Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me so much, and loves you too! Do not doubt, but believe! Or at least have a particle of faith! That's all you need! I used to think I was the controller in my life. What I say goes. I discovered that is not the case at all. Heavenly Father decides, and we know that He will never let us down! So even if I don't become a singer and I end up going on a mission then end up getting married to LDS priest holder and have kids and be a stay-at-home mom, I won't feel like God has let me down. I won't feel as if my life has no purpose. Through Heavenly Father's plan, our life has purpose beyond our understanding! So, I leave it to Him and I leave it to me, to search HIS plans for ME!

If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. - 1 Peter 4:11 


When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. - John 21:15-17 

For thus saith the Lord—I, the Lord, am merciful and gracious unto those who fear me, and delight to honor those who serve me in righteousness and in truth unto the end. - Doctrine And Covenants 76:5

I love you......THIS MUCH!

                           If you've been reading my blog, you understand the fact that I'm not afraid of opening up my past experiences. Good or bad. This blog is gonna be very personal and will expose myself in a new light. Please, be mindful that this is my blog and the things I am going to say, you might not believe in. I invite you though, no matter what you believe in, to pray. Pray to God. He is there. He is real. He isn't this energy that controls everything. He is a real PERSON. He is the first and the last. He is the beginning and the end. Oh wait. There is no end when it comes to our Great GOD! He is our Father. He loves you so much. Pray to feel his love. And when you do, pray in WANTING an answer. God won't answer you if you pray half-heartily. After you've done that, get a bible. C'mon, you know you probably have on lying around the house somewhere. READ IT. It is God's word. (And so is the Book of Mormon, but I'll get to that later). I suggest reading Matthew. Matthew talks about Jesus and his wonderful works, miracles, love and His ultimate sacrifice. Jesus loves so much, just as the Father. They both do. I promise you, that if you ask in faith, God will make it known unto you what you desire to know. With God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!!!!


                         Okay, so. Here it goes; This summer I've grown closer to God AS EVER. See, before I always thought of Him as this giant up in the sky, controlling everything that goes on in earth. I always imagined him as this powerful being with a lightening bolt and looked like Zeus. (I know, stereotypical by far). But that's how I thought of Him. Well, God wanted me to see Him in a different light. One of my favorite christian singers IN THE WORLD, Kim Walker, open the doors for me. Now, I know what ya'll Mormons are thinking. "Oh my gosh, why would she ever look up to someone who's outside of the Church. I bet Kim Walker doesn't even know the whole truth...blah blah blah." Uhm, HELLO! God told Joseph Smith that other churches had some truth in them too! And we Christians need to stand together. You can tell by the way Kim Walker speaks, she has the spirit of revelation. It's built inside of her. I bet God made her to be one of those people who can get in tune with the spirit better then anyone else. She has a gift.

                         Any who, I was listening to one of her talks. In this particular talk, she was talking about her first "encounter with the Lord." Now, I was like, "Whaaaa." What she means by "encounter with the Lord" is she spent time with God through prayer and spirit. That simple. So, she's talking about how she went to a worship meeting. That day, she was going through some troubling beef. As she is worshipping, she has a vision. She sees Jesus right in front of her. In her mind she thinks, "Okay, I need to ask him two questions." Now, she would never, EVER ask Jesus these two questions ever. I'll explain later why.


                         The two questions were: "How much do you love me?" and "What were you thinking when You created me?". These questions were struggling for Kim to ask because when she was a child someone told her something that made her believe that she was supposed to be a boy, not a girl. She thought God made this big mistake, and that He was just trying to make the best out of a bad situation. Can you believe that? Anyway, at this time in her "encounter" she decides not to ask those two questions. BUT, the worship leader in the Church said something. Something of a miracle. He said "Everyone tonight needs to ask God these two questions...How much do you love me and what were You thinking when you created me." MIRACLE ALERT. It was like the worship leader was prompted by the Spirit to say this. AMAZING.

                     Kim wasn't so crazy about this. Now that the worship leader had said this, she knew that she had to ask Jesus those two nagging questions. So she falls into Jesus's arms, without looking Him in the eyes, and asks, "Jesus, how much do You love me?"


                      In her vision, Jesus takes her and sets her right in front of Him and stretches out his arms left to right. Now his arms are stretching farther and farther until Kim can't see the ends. And Jesus laughs and shouts "THIS IS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!" Kim is obviously dumb-struck but can't help but laughing
either. She is so overjoyed with her encounter that she almost forgets the second question. She doesn't want to ask Him though so she leaves her vision, and ends the encounter.

                      Skip to a few months later. Kim says she was in a prayer house, spending time with the Lord. When all of sudden she could feel Jesus's presence so thick and so tangible in the room, that she freezes in place. She can actually feel his presense wash throughout the whole room. Then a thought came into her head. "I haven't asked Him the second question. Then she could feel Jesus pleading to her, "Kim, ask me the question." She does.

                     In a blink of an eye Jesus takes her in a workshop room. Kim can see a man on a stool making something. That man is God. God, out of the blue, rips a chunk of something out of his heart. That chunk looked like play-do. God then started molded it, in such precision. Kim, by her surprise, found out that dough was suddenly her. God then placed his beautiful creation in a box. Like a jack in the box. And closed the seal of the box, and waited. He looked very anxious, like a child waiting for Jack to pop out of the box. Then, BAM! Kim jumps out dancing and singing and praising him. God is laughing and dancing around too and shouts "WHOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Then takes Kim and puts her in the box and do the same thing over and over again.

                       As you can imagine, Kim is astonished. Kim tugs at Jesus and asks, "What, What is he doing?" Without any warning Kim is taken from the the side of the workshop and suddenly is in the Father's hands. God then takes her and places her where he ripped out that chunk and she fits in perfectly, like a puzzle piece. IN THE FATHER'S HEART! God then tells her, "Kim, this is where you belong. Right here. In my heart. You are not a mistake. This is what I was thinking when I created you. And you know what? I think you're funny! You make me laugh, Kim! Stay here, Kim. Stay in my heart."

                   Beautiful, right? Inspiring? Yes. I just wanted to show you that an encounter with God can change everything. Can change the way you see, hear, feel and especially your relationship with God. Now, I'm gonna share my encounter. My encounter is much more simpler. Much more plain. But is special to me.

                    So, I'm singing this worship song called "Yahweh". (P.S. if you wanna listen to the song, just go to youtube and type in "Yahweh" by kari jobe). Anyway, as I'm singing the lyrics speak to me like God is speaking to me. The lyrics stated:

               Ancient One, So amazing. I'm unfailing. I am. The ancient one and you sing "So amazing" My heart is with you, my love. Yahweh. Yahweh. Faithful I am. I'm here to stay. Yahweh. Yahweh, I am. Forever and always same. And I am all consuming, ever lasting. God Almighty. Lord, your Lord. And you cry "Lord of Glory"

               As I'm hearing this song, His presence was so strong. I can't control myself. I fall to my knees. It was like He was hugging me. Then I sang a different worship song, because I wanted to continue to feel His amazing presence. The song goes like this:

              The more I seek you
               The I find you
               The more I find you, the more I love you
                I wanna sit at your feet, drink from cup in Your hand
                  Lay back against you and breathe
                       Feel Your heartbeat
                            This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand
                                I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming



                      Then His presense was even stronger. It was like I was in this valley and he was sitting beside a tree and I was right beside Him, with other girls and boys. It was beautiful. It was my encounter.


                    I now invite you to pray right now. With a full intent. God will answer. I'll suggest some worship songs right now, if music is your style.

                  Suggestions: "Yahweh" by kari jobe. "The More I seek You" by Kari Jobe. "Oh how He loves Us" by Jesus Culture. Basically anything by Jesus Culture or Kari Jobe. You can find all their songs on youtube. God bless!

My weakness

                           I think we've all been through this; Impatience. It's a human nature hard to resist. It's in instinct, I think. When you're having a stressful day, and the obstacles keep coming, and one little thing can through you off. For example, my sister is my best friend but she can drive me insane! She always asks me things at the last minute, she wants food all the time, she wants me to play with her every minute of the day and one thing I can't STAND about her is she leaves the hallway light on at night. I think that's one of my most distressing pet-peeves in the history of my pet peeves. I might also mention she will come in my room, unannounced, and stand there and not say ANYTHING. So, my reaction is always the same; "Shelby, what do you want?" and she'll respond with a shrug and say "nothing" and will walk out the room, and NOT CLOSE THE DOOR. She'll just mindlessly leaves it open, even though I've told her countless of times to close the door after you go out.


                      





                        Okay, I need to calm down. See how it's easy for me to list all the many gruesome attributes about my sister that irritate me but not so quick to state all the many wonderful perks about having her as my sister? I think, as people, we do that without even thinking. It's molded in our brain, by the world, that when people annoy you, you get them right back. On the other hand, in the bible it says, "Judge not lest you be judged." As simple as that sounds that is a powerful commandment. Jesus is telling us that we cannot simply go on throughout life looking through a stained window and bickering on about people's motes in their eyes, when we have a mote in our own eyes that is needed to be taken out. It also says the bible that the meek will be blessed to inherit the earth. Personally, I think that means when Jesus comes down in the 2nd coming, that the meek people will inherit the earth with our Beloved Savior, for a millennium. Pretty awesome, right? But it comes with a price. We have to get in the healthy habit of not always being defensive or quick to react with malice and to not have a short spam on our patience.


                     I have countless weaknesses and one of the most frequent one is impatience. Lately, I've been having stress more and more each day. Mostly, because of school, seminary, friends issues, family issues and much more. Anything someone would say would tick me off, no matter how small or how large the comment is. I've been asking for the Lord to help me cast out this weaknesses and help me be more meek and patient but it's one of the most struggling sins I am overcoming. This is my "mote" or one of my many. I have no right to call someone outrageously impatient, when I am just the same. Maybe they are even more impatient then me but honestly, it doesn't matter. No matter what the sin, you gotta learn to judge the sin, not the sinner. Especially if you have been in the same position as the sinner.

                   




                      I know I'm being a little open about me and exposing my weakest spot but I have nothing to be ashamed about. I am a daughter of God that is living on an earth full of forces of evil from the devil, that is trying to overcome me. But the difference about me is even though I am not be perfect, I can be perfect through Christ. Through my faith in Christ and my hope that someday I will be at a point where I won't be impatient. In this life or the next. (also this is my blog so I can write anything I want).


                    Anyway, I hope you take my advice and pray to God that he may help you on a road to recovery from a sin you've been struggling in. You don't have to hard on yourself. You have to feel remorse but also feel hope, that one day you'll over come that sin. Through Jesus. OUR AWESOME JESUS. :) And through Jesus, you will come closer to Heavenly Father then you will ever. God bless.



Galations 5:22 - But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness.

He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding, Prov. 14:29

Continue in patience until ye are perfected, D&C 67:13


                   

Me and me and me..oh and preachy stuff!

SO, HI! :) My name is Erin Clegg. I can't wait to get blogging. Some people suggested tumblr but I thought that would be a little cliche and went on here! I wanted my first blog to be an introduction of ME. A little self-centered, huh? Eh, I don't care. I'm such a silly goose.

             










 One of the many things about me is I am a singer and songwriter. I've been singing ever since I was 8. Recently though, I've realized that God has given me this gift for a reason. That reason isn't to become famous or get millions of fans over a love song but to praise him, worship and pour out my brokenness through lyrical inspiration and pour out my revelations from the Lord himself! This was the biggest revelation God has given me! When I first had this encounter with God, I was "Uhm, God?" and God responded, "Yes, Erin?". Then I burst out in tears, telling Him I wasn't worthy to do this kind of assignment. I thought I wasn't worthy to even sing a song about Him. (Because of a struggling affliction of sin I was going through). But do you know what He said? He said, "Erin, I love you for you, not for what you did. This the reason why I sent my only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to die for you. Because I love you and I want you to improve and I want you to tell the whole world about the LDS church through music and revelation and example!"

             

                Now for awhile, I accepted this. I repented for what I did and went along with it. But deep inside I know something was holding me back. When I was writing worship songs or singing them or performing or WHATEVER, I was singing it because I thought the song was pretty and had a good meaning. I wasn't singing it for praise or for worship. I was just making noise. See, I know a lot of you enjoy music. Right? So, when you listen to music don't you sometime fall in this trance where you don't listen to the lyrics or the meaning, you just think it sounds good? That's what was happening to me. I would sing and sing and sing about Jesus, but I didn't feel anything.


              I then came to the conclusion that I needed to change my perspective and change it fast! It says in the bible that worship is supposed to be meaningful and in the spirit and you must lay everything aside, and focus on the Lord and Jesus Christ and what Jesus has done for you. I forgot about this. Completely. It also says that if you sang a song, without any wholesome or Godly worth it in, then it is just noise. Worship is not JUST for SINGERS. It is for people who can't sing! My sister asked me, "Erin, how can I can worship? I don't sing very well." (which was a lie, since she can sing very well). I told her "Worship is not a genre of music, it is a sacred act we take upon ourselves. To praise and thank the Lord. Even sometimes repent. And if you can't sing, who cares! God sees you, and understands that singing isn't your strongest attribute but He admires your dedication!".


           

         Another big thing for me was to realize and accept the fact people worship differently. Some people like to sing, some like to dance, some like to scream out, some people (like me) like to sing and sway back and forth and put up their arms and close their eyes........and you get the point. So no matter what faith you are, all worship is acceptable if it is done in righteous judgement.


             One thing that has always bothered me in the LDS church was how we sang. The hymns to me can be boring and literally make me wanna cuddle up with my teddy bear and take a nap. But God revealed unto me that it doesn't matter what kind of genre of music someone worships in. If they do it in the spirit and in willing to feel the spirit, then it is righteous and precious to Him. I also realized some of the best worship songs are gentle and tender. Not loud and "crying out for repentance and for an encounter with Jesus" that I LOVE to sing. But that is more then acceptable too!


              Anyway, as you can see, music is my life. And God is a big part of that as well. But don't think I'm this hippie and Jesus Freak that worship 24/7 and is walking around singing all the time. (but my sister says I AM a freaky Jesus hippie that sings all the time....) But I do have other attributes. Like how I love to eat, cook, sleep and meet new people! I am just a girl who loves Jesus, loves her family, loves to sing and loves to worship! And loves chocolate! And that if you haven't had a one on one talk with God, do it.....NOW! Join the Jesus Freak party with me.....then maybe I can introduce you to some LDS missionaries.....Ha, Mormon problems. As I was saying, I am very friendly so get to know me! Unless you're a strange psychopath that's behind the computer screen. And here are a few uplifting scriptures! :)

             Revelation 4:11 “Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.”


Ephesians 2:4-5 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, evenwhen we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved—