So recently, I've lost a really good friend of mine. It was just a small argument not even an argument A disagreement. And then, BAM. She walked out of life.
My response to this was complete, utter devastation. To be perfectly honest, I do not have that many friends. And the friends that I do have, don't have any classes with me. Now I know I should reach out and try to make new ones, but it's so difficult. Before, I was so used to my little group of friends. I thought I could trust them. I thought them as my family. Then they left. Effortlessly. Like it didn't hurt them or feel the slightest bit of remorse. It was heart-breaking.
Now this friend of mine that left me, was my best friend. I thought of her as a sister. Sure we had our usual disagreements and literally only TWO major fights in the space of our two year friendship. But I think it's normal for friends to fight once and a while. It makes you grow closer in a sense. Or at least I thought.
In result of this separation of friendship, I cried and mourned for several days. I know, pathetic. It's just that she was my best friend. When I had no one to talk to, I'd tweet or text her or just talk to her. I told her all my secrets. She was and I suppose still is a very trust worthy friend. She didn't expose any of mistakes that I admitted to. She was always kept my secret, A SECRET. That kind of friendship is so hard to find. I still think of her as a friend. Best friend, actually. The problem is, she thinks of as nothing.
So in my time of affliction I went to the Savior. I remember when I would cry myself to sleep because I was so humiliated to wake up for school the next morning and face her. While I was weeping, it felt like the presence of the Savior swept in my room. He came to me and whispered words of comfort. He told me that I must forgive myself. And that when people of this world fail to always be there for you, He would. He showed me that He loved me so much, He atoned for my sins. He died on the cross. For me. The presence of my Savior was so strong that I fell asleep with it. It was one of those bittersweet nights.
The Lord's love amazes me. His love never fails. His mercy endures forever. I know I still make mistakes but His sacrifice gave me repentance. My Father in heaven love amazes as well. He gave his only begotten Son for me. He loves me sooooo much. When I cried those nights away, Heavenly Father didn't try to make me smile, He wept with me and comforted me. He gave me His son, so we could mourn and empathize together. As we all know, Jesus KNOWS how we feel. Literally.
So even though I may of lost a friend, I still have my bestest friends on my side. Not to mention my wonderful family as well!
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