I've realized that it's all about God's timing. Many of us forget God is in control, including me. I tend to forget to surrender everything to God and I do it without even knowing I'm resisting all the many blessings and opportunities He has for me! And one way I do so is trying to speed things a long or slow things down. I think I'm in control of time. When in reality, time itself obeys God because God is time. He is everything and He is sovereign.
I always try to rush things. I try to rush things like worship or my (pause for dramatic effect)...dating life. Even though I am sixteen and allowed to go out date, I've felt a revelation from God bestowed to me from him when I was twelve that I shouldn't date until "I've fulfilled all the things God has in store for me before marriage". I really have no idea why, but the thought of dating excites me until I'm faced with someone actually asking me on a date. Then I get this feeling, from Holy Spirit of coarse, that it isn't "the time". I have a work to do. And whether that work has to do with my passion of singing or something else, I searching. And while I'm searching I'm doing the best I can.
Moving on to a different story of how God's timing has blessed my life; many of you probably know that I have struggled with emotional issues. Things like cutting, eating disorders and depression have happened to me. Not just happen to me but take over me. And everyone knows that I love Demi Lovato (one of the few celebrities that have gone through what I have and has gotten treatment for it. Plus she is a anti-drug and anti-alcohol and anti-bullying promoter and believer which is quite rare to find in Hollywood). Well, Demi has created a organization called "The Lovato Treatment Scholarship" which is a organization that pays for struggling teenager's treatment and therapy. I've entered into this since treatment these days are so expensive and I am currently on the waiting list, you can say. Finally, I've felt at peace with myself knowing that I will soon get the treatment I need.
Few of you know that I have been suicidal in the past. I can't promise anything except that I'm my life one day at a time. Some days are harder than others and even though I seem quite social, there are days where I just don't want to show my face to the public eye. There HAVE been days where I was to weak and troubled that I would leave church and go home and avoid all human contact other than my sister and mother. But I always remind myself that I am alive. And that God has work for me to do. I was granted with the gift of singing and songwriting and other artistic abilities and when I use my voice through worship, I feel at home and happy. I can feel God's presence. And that's what is keeping me alive.
Everything happens for a reason and I know God has given me certain obstacles in my life to make me stronger. AND to help others with the same issues. I also know that His timing is all that matters. Everything happens for a reason. We may wander and drift but if allow God to work within us, He will draw us nearer to HIM and break us and pour our sorrows and sins out and start again.
It's a beautiful life. And we have a beautiful God. Let us wait for His returning. His timing is perfect...
